Martin K(nife) Blackwood (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
curriculum_fictae) wrote2020-06-16 06:15 pm
curriculum_fictae) wrote2020-06-16 06:15 pm
[PSL] time travel, time travel
[ Martin had always known that Lukas would kill him in the end. If not along the way, then surely at the end, once he'd gotten what he wanted out of Martin, whatever that turned out to be. When the Lonely rose up to swallow him, he'd accepted his impending death with ... what?
What did he have left, really? Numbness, mostly. A hallucination of Jon in the Lonely, looking for him, but - but that was impossible, ridiculous. His mind playing cruel tricks. He settled himself down in the frigid surf, knees drawn up close to his chest, unshed tears frozen to his cheeks and lashes.
And then. A door. A door that shouldn't exist, that couldn't exist. That he shouldn't take at all. The Lonely was terrible, yes, but it was quiet, and it was peaceful. Martin was aligned enough with it by now to very nearly enjoy it, in a strange and terrible way. The Spiral would be infinitely worse than this quiet beach.
But ... it was hope, too. In a strange way. Hope enough that Martin found himself turning the door handle and stepping through, leaving the false comfort of the Lonely behind him.
The transition was unpleasant. Long. But Martin couldn't remember it after; he only remembered stumbling out through the door of a supply closet somewhere deep in the Archives, blinking up at the dim bulbs that pretended to be sufficient. What time was it? Had he escaped? Where were Lukas and Elias now?
And where was Jon? ]
What did he have left, really? Numbness, mostly. A hallucination of Jon in the Lonely, looking for him, but - but that was impossible, ridiculous. His mind playing cruel tricks. He settled himself down in the frigid surf, knees drawn up close to his chest, unshed tears frozen to his cheeks and lashes.
And then. A door. A door that shouldn't exist, that couldn't exist. That he shouldn't take at all. The Lonely was terrible, yes, but it was quiet, and it was peaceful. Martin was aligned enough with it by now to very nearly enjoy it, in a strange and terrible way. The Spiral would be infinitely worse than this quiet beach.
But ... it was hope, too. In a strange way. Hope enough that Martin found himself turning the door handle and stepping through, leaving the false comfort of the Lonely behind him.
The transition was unpleasant. Long. But Martin couldn't remember it after; he only remembered stumbling out through the door of a supply closet somewhere deep in the Archives, blinking up at the dim bulbs that pretended to be sufficient. What time was it? Had he escaped? Where were Lukas and Elias now?
And where was Jon? ]
no subject
[both hands curl softly into loose fists.]
It would... It would be good to know, yeah? What he knows. To be prepared, and to know, and maybe we could prevent bad things, and...
[he trails off, continuing that negative train of thought in silence. transparency and icy cold slowly spreads even further up the arm that Jon's holding.]
I don't know what I want, but what I want doesn't matter, does it? We have to do what's best for everyone.
no subject
That's certainly a statement. Future Martin didn't mention anything like this, but has he always felt like this? Man...]
I think what you want does matter. It matters just as much as whatever's best for everyone else.
[He lowers his voice again, just for this Martin struggling in front of him, that needs some support.] I don't... Really know what's going to happen, or what's best. I just... Know that something screwy is going on with the Institute, and I've spent weeks since the Prentiss attack looking for answers, especially if it means keeping myself and whoever was innocent safe. That includes you.
no subject
the spread stops, and Martin looks up. he's trying not to look as vulnerable as he feels, but failing. badly.
oh, Jon.]
...Is that what you've been doing? Asking us strange questions, spying on Tim's house... Were you trying to...protect us?
[he frowns slightly.]
By yourself?
no subject
[No, he's sure he just made everyone suspicious of him.]
I didn't know who I could trust. I still... Don't know how much I trust him out there. He's been here for a week and I haven't had much chance to look for proof of what he was telling me. Not without alerting any of you or Elias.
At the very least, I think it's worth sitting and listening to him.
no subject
[he looks away from Jon, the frown turning from one of concern to one of quiet misery. he rubs the arm that starts turning more transparent again.]
Couldn't even trust me?
[it's so quiet and so...hurt. but he doesn't allow himself - or Jon - to dwell on it.]
Yeah, I-- Let's listen to him. I think I can do something about "proof" that he's me.
no subject
But with that admission, he nods. Keeps one hand on his elbow and starts leading Martin out back into the main room.]
We're coming back.