[ Ostensibly, this is a statement about the Flesh. Sparsely but neatly written, trying to spare Jon the details, though - as with all statements, everything filters through one way or another.
It starts with Martin arriving late to the Institute that day. His mother had died just last week, and the funeral had been a few days ago. (A small affair, Martin feeling desperately alone among the smattering of second and third cousins who'd shown up and used the event as a de facto family reunion, leaving Martin behind to mourn the woman who'd hated him.) So he hadn't been sleeping well, and thus overslept, and so he hadn't had time in the morning to check on Jon's comatose body all week. He really hadn't had time that morning either, but Peter Lukas had specifically requested an update that morning, and Martin had felt guilty, and ... well, he felt better having gone, right up until he returned to the Institute late and arrived just in time to get attacked by flesh monsters.
Martin's first instinct had been to panic. Already distracted by his late arrival, having barely had time to greet Melanie and Basira before the sight of fleshy monsters coming up out of the floors and the pipes had thrown all three of them into disarray. He's ashamed to admit that he'd just run instead of trying to help either of his coworkers; he hadn't been able to do a damn thing, and in the moment all he could think about was getting away. To call for help? No, he'd just been scared, and weak, and useless. He'd gotten trapped near Artifact Storage by one of Jared's minions. This particular golem had lunged at at Martin, inflicting what he describes as a "bite," but would really be better described as an "undoing": the tip of his pinkie just unraveled, bone disappearing, the rest of his hand starting to follow. It would have gone much worse if Melanie hadn't shown up just then, a madwoman with a knife, going after the golem with a ferocity that was frankly terrifying. Martin couldn't do anything except try to staunch the flow of blood from his finger as he watched her murder this thing single-handedly.
It turned out that Melanie had murdered most of the other golems too, and she and Basira had managed to get Helen to stuff Jared Hopworth into her maze of doors. And what had Martin done? Worse than nothing: come late, fled at the first sign of trouble, and forced Melanie to come and rescue him when he hadn't thought to rescue her. Afterwards, he'd gone round to Melanie and Basira and tried to do what he could to make up for it, but neither of them were interested. Basira just found him useless and didn't care for someone who wasn't helpful, while he'd had a full-on yelling match with Melanie, who was more than happy to be furious with him for just running when the flesh had first started oozing out of the floor. And the rest of the Institute staff really weren't talking to any of the archival assistants after this last bloody incident; too many of them had been killed.
Martin's tried to stop his statement there - tried not to go into his mental state after. But the simple line he'd penned - "I went to Peter Lukas after that" - is rich with information that floods into Jon's head. Melanie and Basira either hate him or just don't care about him, and frankly that's his fault for not trying to bridge that gap before he screwed up. No one else at the Institute will even talk to him, but he also can't leave this awful job without dying. Tim and Sasha are dead. His mother is dead. Jon is dead. And Martin can't even look at himself in a mirror without feeling his mother's hatred burning in his head. He is profoundly and utterly alone, incapable of even helping the few people left in his life who might even talk to him.
Ostensibly, this is a statement about the Flesh. But it's really about Martin's descent into the Lonely, the howling, maddening despair that had ultimately driven him into Peter Lukas' waiting arms. If he managed to protect the Institute by brokering a deal with that monster, then great. Perfect. But mostly, it seemed like a good way to get himself killed. ]
Statement concerning an attack on the Magnus Institute (content warning); heavy spoilers
It starts with Martin arriving late to the Institute that day. His mother had died just last week, and the funeral had been a few days ago. (A small affair, Martin feeling desperately alone among the smattering of second and third cousins who'd shown up and used the event as a de facto family reunion, leaving Martin behind to mourn the woman who'd hated him.) So he hadn't been sleeping well, and thus overslept, and so he hadn't had time in the morning to check on Jon's comatose body all week. He really hadn't had time that morning either, but Peter Lukas had specifically requested an update that morning, and Martin had felt guilty, and ... well, he felt better having gone, right up until he returned to the Institute late and arrived just in time to get attacked by flesh monsters.
Martin's first instinct had been to panic. Already distracted by his late arrival, having barely had time to greet Melanie and Basira before the sight of fleshy monsters coming up out of the floors and the pipes had thrown all three of them into disarray. He's ashamed to admit that he'd just run instead of trying to help either of his coworkers; he hadn't been able to do a damn thing, and in the moment all he could think about was getting away. To call for help? No, he'd just been scared, and weak, and useless. He'd gotten trapped near Artifact Storage by one of Jared's minions. This particular golem had lunged at at Martin, inflicting what he describes as a "bite," but would really be better described as an "undoing": the tip of his pinkie just unraveled, bone disappearing, the rest of his hand starting to follow. It would have gone much worse if Melanie hadn't shown up just then, a madwoman with a knife, going after the golem with a ferocity that was frankly terrifying. Martin couldn't do anything except try to staunch the flow of blood from his finger as he watched her murder this thing single-handedly.
It turned out that Melanie had murdered most of the other golems too, and she and Basira had managed to get Helen to stuff Jared Hopworth into her maze of doors. And what had Martin done? Worse than nothing: come late, fled at the first sign of trouble, and forced Melanie to come and rescue him when he hadn't thought to rescue her. Afterwards, he'd gone round to Melanie and Basira and tried to do what he could to make up for it, but neither of them were interested. Basira just found him useless and didn't care for someone who wasn't helpful, while he'd had a full-on yelling match with Melanie, who was more than happy to be furious with him for just running when the flesh had first started oozing out of the floor. And the rest of the Institute staff really weren't talking to any of the archival assistants after this last bloody incident; too many of them had been killed.
Martin's tried to stop his statement there - tried not to go into his mental state after. But the simple line he'd penned - "I went to Peter Lukas after that" - is rich with information that floods into Jon's head. Melanie and Basira either hate him or just don't care about him, and frankly that's his fault for not trying to bridge that gap before he screwed up. No one else at the Institute will even talk to him, but he also can't leave this awful job without dying. Tim and Sasha are dead. His mother is dead. Jon is dead. And Martin can't even look at himself in a mirror without feeling his mother's hatred burning in his head. He is profoundly and utterly alone, incapable of even helping the few people left in his life who might even talk to him.
Ostensibly, this is a statement about the Flesh. But it's really about Martin's descent into the Lonely, the howling, maddening despair that had ultimately driven him into Peter Lukas' waiting arms. If he managed to protect the Institute by brokering a deal with that monster, then great. Perfect. But mostly, it seemed like a good way to get himself killed. ]