[PSL] time travel, time travel

[curriculum_fictae]

[ Martin had always known that Lukas would kill him in the end. If not along the way, then surely at the end, once he'd gotten what he wanted out of Martin, whatever that turned out to be. When the Lonely rose up to swallow him, he'd accepted his impending death with ... what?

What did he have left, really? Numbness, mostly. A hallucination of Jon in the Lonely, looking for him, but - but that was impossible, ridiculous. His mind playing cruel tricks. He settled himself down in the frigid surf, knees drawn up close to his chest, unshed tears frozen to his cheeks and lashes.

And then. A door. A door that shouldn't exist, that couldn't exist. That he shouldn't take at all. The Lonely was terrible, yes, but it was quiet, and it was peaceful. Martin was aligned enough with it by now to very nearly enjoy it, in a strange and terrible way. The Spiral would be infinitely worse than this quiet beach.

But ... it was hope, too. In a strange way. Hope enough that Martin found himself turning the door handle and stepping through, leaving the false comfort of the Lonely behind him.

The transition was unpleasant. Long. But Martin couldn't remember it after; he only remembered stumbling out through the door of a supply closet somewhere deep in the Archives, blinking up at the dim bulbs that pretended to be sufficient. What time was it? Had he escaped? Where were Lukas and Elias now?

And where was Jon? ]

Comments

[eyediot]

I'd... like to. Stop it, I mean.

[Yeah he's still groggy and dealing with the cycle rounds of morphine:] Is it really that bad a name? Thought it was cute.

1/2

[secreteary]

[there's a low whine coming from someplace that might be a miserable and very embarrassed Martin.]

It's humiliating. I can't believe he'd bring that up. I was stupid and thirteen and it was just a...blatant self-insert. Over-powered and all, and--

[secreteary]

[hold on.]

......Wait, "cute"?

[eyediot]

[Some part of his brain remembered through the Lonely fog of Algric's that it was some "forum rpg" character he'd made, but mostly the rest he'd forgotten after he'd told Tim about it. He's a little preoccupied cleaning his glasses really quickly.]

Hm? Yes, it's a cute name. Diggly. Hm. Anyway, I didn't look into anything about it. Just that he said to call him that to help the confusion of there being two of you.

[secreteary]

[muttered darkly to himself:]

Thank heaven for little miracles, I suppose.

[shooting Jon a furtive look:]

You don't think it's...weird?

[eyediot]

Why would it be? Everyone has hobbies, even hobbies they grew out of.

[secreteary]

[man, between Tim and Jon, it's almost like Martin matters to people.

his hands warm in response to this unhesitating acceptance of what Martin considers, for lack of a better term, a very cringe-y part of his adolescence.

and for it to come from Jon... well. feels pretty good, dunnit.

his fingertips tingle as color and feeling returns to them, but he almost doesn't know because of his nervous, pleased aura that he's putting out.]

Th...thank you. Was afraid, you know?

[eyediot]

Don't see why.

[Don't mind him, Mr. Bullied For Reading A Lot As A Child and being a nuisance his whole life.]

Either way, there won't be confusion now between you both.

[secreteary]

Yeah, I'll take that as an...improvement.

[eyediot]

Hm.

[Jon watches him, still... Really carefully watching his hands and fingers. God, the Lonely got him too. He must have missed when that happened. When did that happen?]

Either way. It's... Good to see you, Martin. I'm glad you weren't there when all this happened.

[secreteary]

Is it weird if I said...I wish I was...and glad I wasn't at the same time?

[he laughs then, but it's an odd, crackling little thing.]

I-I mean. I wish I had been there to help, but I don't know how much good I would've done. Probably just slowed you down.

[eyediot]

I don't know. I don't know that what we even did was good. It wasn't part of the plan.

[The plan sort of exploded there anyway. Who knows.]

The whole plan went wrong.

[secreteary]

Jon... You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to. I'm. I'm just here to see you. Keep you company.

[eyediot]

No, I'm... Glad you're here.

[Sigh. He's already had a... Some kind of conversation with Algric. And he knows the feelings are true for the Martin in front of him. He... needs to be considerate. And not rush into this or be weird about it.]

The company is nice.

[secreteary]

[if he's honest, Martin doesn't know what to do with that. it just means any company, an icy voice whispers in his head. it doesn't matter that it's you. he'd probably prefer if it wasn't you.

his arm aches because of this mental poison. so Martin just lowers his head, absorbing it and letting an awkward silence fall for just a moment too long.

he swallows painfully, and tries smiling for Jon.]

I'm. Ah, I'm sorry that I didn't bring anything. No food or anything... Tim called and I sort of...panicked? At the news?

[he grins nervously, loosely clenching his hands.]

Because h-he made it sound - not that it wasn't, I'm sure it was absolutely awful - he made it sound practically apocalyptic. Like I'd find you both in pieces. So... [his voice drops, embarrassed.] Yeah. Panicked.

[quick, change tack!]

But I can bring you anything you need! That you can't get here, obviously. I could bring you books from your flat, o-or I could cook something for you? I found some video essays on YouTube recently that you might like--

[eyediot]

[It's interesting. Seeing his timeline's Martin go through a similar thought process as two-years-future-Martin. Food and books. Interesting. Of course there is the worry that Martin feels the need to be useful, even in a situation where there's nothing to really be done.

Whether it's the fact he's actually slept some, he's let himself not think about Elias, or he finally just had that mental breakthrough with Algric... there's something a little easier in Jon's eyes.

Or maybe it's that he doesn't have his glasses on so he's just looking at a blob right now. Who knows.

Still there's a tired, sleepy smile on his face.]

Martin-- Martin. It's all right, you don't have to do all that.

[secreteary]

[a rapid blink, as Martin has to reassert himself in the present moment rather than continue rambling. it doesn't bother him. at least, being cut off doesn't.

he...deflates a little, his smile faltering.]


I know. But I.. I-I want to.

[eyediot]

I...I know.

[God, does he know.]

I... Do mean it, that I'm just. Happy you're here.

[secreteary]

[he REALLY doesn't know what to do with that one.

he just rubs his tingling left arm absently, still smiling. but it's every so slightly strained]

Of...of course I'm here. We're friends, right? So... Nowhere I'd rather be.

[eyediot]

[Jon watches and... That's the. The arm that got messed up by the Lonely. Hm.]

..I know, Martin.

[God, he really does say that a lot, doesn't he. No wonder he becomes a fucking monster for the Eye. Vine, Jon.]

And. And we are friends, if. I hadn't made that clear. [God now is the perfect time to talk about that thing but how the heck does he do it.]

[secreteary]

That's certainly a relief, especially with how you were before Algric showed up.

[it's not meant unkindly. just stating facts.]

[eyediot]

... Yes.

And-- And I am sorry for that.

[What's that? Sincerity in his tone?]

[secreteary]

[Martin might be crazy because it just might be!!! he grabs the sides of the chair and scoots closer to the bed, leaning closer, all full of concern and reassurance.]

It's okay, it really is. Sure, some of your behavior was definitely unacceptable, but after what we found down there? I can't say I don't see your perspective, if that makes sense.

And, you know, you've been better lately. S-since he showed up.

[eyediot]

Better now than going crazy before. I just... Didn't have any answers. [Just. A soft exhale, not quite a sigh.] Tim said if he'd known answers would've calmed me down this much, he would've built some kind of time machine already.

[He rubs at his forehead a moment before reaching to try for his glasses, gets them on.]

...But how is your arm?

[secreteary]

[a small huff of laughter.] Yeah, that sounds like Tim. I understand the thought though, if that really was all you needed...

[he didn't trust you.

Martin frowns as he mentally waves that off, then holds up aforementioned limb.]

No change. I'm sort of...almost adjusted to it, at this point. [he shrugs.] People pass over me more easily, so it might take a while for anyone to notice that I'm here after visiting hours.