curriculum_fictae | [PSL] time travel, time travel

[ Martin had always known that Lukas would kill him in the end. If not along the way, then surely at the end, once he'd gotten what he wanted out of Martin, whatever that turned out to be. When the Lonely rose up to swallow him, he'd accepted his impending death with ... what?

What did he have left, really? Numbness, mostly. A hallucination of Jon in the Lonely, looking for him, but - but that was impossible, ridiculous. His mind playing cruel tricks. He settled himself down in the frigid surf, knees drawn up close to his chest, unshed tears frozen to his cheeks and lashes.

And then. A door. A door that shouldn't exist, that couldn't exist. That he shouldn't take at all. The Lonely was terrible, yes, but it was quiet, and it was peaceful. Martin was aligned enough with it by now to very nearly enjoy it, in a strange and terrible way. The Spiral would be infinitely worse than this quiet beach.

But ... it was hope, too. In a strange way. Hope enough that Martin found himself turning the door handle and stepping through, leaving the false comfort of the Lonely behind him.

The transition was unpleasant. Long. But Martin couldn't remember it after; he only remembered stumbling out through the door of a supply closet somewhere deep in the Archives, blinking up at the dim bulbs that pretended to be sufficient. What time was it? Had he escaped? Where were Lukas and Elias now?

And where was Jon? ]

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From:

curriculum_fictae

[ God. He - he has to think of a way out of this. There has to be, right? ]

Just - just delay it, if you can. Maybe we can figure out a way to. Defuse it.

From:

eyediot

...I can delay it a bit. He only said when I go back. He didn't... Say when I have to go back.

[What if he never goes back.

He knows he will. He aches for the knowledge that place can give him. But he may take a little longer than he needs to.]

From:

curriculum_fictae

[ Ha. Ha. Algric already knows the answer to that. Even without a compulsion, Jon can't really resist, can he? ]

Then - then try that. Maybe we can figure out a way for Elias not to hear that tape.

From:

eyediot

... We'll find a way.

[He may not be able to get out of recording the statement. But he can at least try to obfuscate it.]

I'm sorry, Algric.

From:

curriculum_fictae

It's - it's fine. Probably inevitable anyway.

[ It's inevitable now, in fact. ]

From:

eyediot

[Jon is still watching him, but his expression is a mixture of sadness, apologetic and... regret. He knows no matter what he does, the moment he steps into the Archive to resume work... He'll do it. And it'll cost them.

He hesitantly reaches out to him again.]

From:

curriculum_fictae

[ And Algric knows that too. Knows that Jon can't avoid it without doing something truly drastic.

Slowly but surely, he reaches out to Jon in turn. More colour returning where they touch. ]

Do me one favour?

From:

eyediot

Yes?

[Jon just... sounds so eager to help.]

From:

curriculum_fictae

[ God. It makes Algric hesitate a little; he's not sure how Jon will take this. ]

When this all goes badly, don't blame yourself.

From:

eyediot

Of...Of course.

[It's the immediate, if somewhat unsure, response. But it takes a few moments for the words to really sink in.

When this all goes badly.

Algric... has no faith that Jon can...do this. This will go badly.

And Jon will blame himself. He can already feel that, deep in his soul.]

From:

curriculum_fictae

[ Sorry, Jon. It's not a lack of faith in you; it's a cynical certainty that Elias is stronger.

He can see the doubt in your eyes. ]

I - I mean it. Elias is so much stronger than any of us. And his compulsions are - are impossible to root out. Trust me.

From:

eyediot

[When you say words like that to him, it just stirs up his stubbornness. Now he wants to try, even if it nearly kills him.]

Then I suppose I just have to get stronger. Or stop playing the game altogether.

From:

curriculum_fictae

[ Goddammit. He can sense the stubbornness leaking out of Jon. ]

Please. Please don't get stronger.

From:

eyediot

The other option is my eyes.

From:

curriculum_fictae

I - I know! I know, and I hate that those are our two options, but I can't actually change that!

From:

eyediot

And I can't let Elias hurt you. Any of you.

Certainly not because of me.

From:

curriculum_fictae

[ You're already too late, Jon. ]

It's that kind of thinking that - that gets you killed.

From:

eyediot

Then what do you propose I do?

From:

curriculum_fictae

Just - just try to lie low for a while. Let your friends take risks for you for once in your life!

From:

eyediot

[He stops hearing those words.

Wow. Hey. That's a neat concept.]

...What are you going to do.

From:

curriculum_fictae

I -

[ "I've already been compelled into going to the Archive, so please stop making this worse--" ]

Nothing, Jon. Nothing.

From:

eyediot

[It's a lie. He can just...

He hates that he Knows. There's the fracture of hurt somewhere in his eyes before he blinks it away, quick as that.

Right. Bigger things at play here than his feelings. Grand scheme of things, saving the world, all that. Besides, what's another lie on the pile?

He gives Algric's hand a little, weak squeeze.]

All right.

From:

curriculum_fictae

[ God damn it. Every time he accidentally hurts Jon, he gets that much more miserable himself. And he knows Jon hates being lied to - had liked Algric because he hadn't -

He stays still for a moment, misery rolling around in his head. ]

Elias found me. He - he compelled me.

From:

eyediot

He...found you.

[God. That means so many different things, but-- His worry outweighs... Most of that. There are still some pinpricks of want in there - how did Elias know, how did Elias see him, what had he done - but he shoves it aside. For the moment.]

Was it-- Was it here?

[Was it because of him?]