curriculum_fictae | [PSL] time travel, time travel

[ Martin had always known that Lukas would kill him in the end. If not along the way, then surely at the end, once he'd gotten what he wanted out of Martin, whatever that turned out to be. When the Lonely rose up to swallow him, he'd accepted his impending death with ... what?

What did he have left, really? Numbness, mostly. A hallucination of Jon in the Lonely, looking for him, but - but that was impossible, ridiculous. His mind playing cruel tricks. He settled himself down in the frigid surf, knees drawn up close to his chest, unshed tears frozen to his cheeks and lashes.

And then. A door. A door that shouldn't exist, that couldn't exist. That he shouldn't take at all. The Lonely was terrible, yes, but it was quiet, and it was peaceful. Martin was aligned enough with it by now to very nearly enjoy it, in a strange and terrible way. The Spiral would be infinitely worse than this quiet beach.

But ... it was hope, too. In a strange way. Hope enough that Martin found himself turning the door handle and stepping through, leaving the false comfort of the Lonely behind him.

The transition was unpleasant. Long. But Martin couldn't remember it after; he only remembered stumbling out through the door of a supply closet somewhere deep in the Archives, blinking up at the dim bulbs that pretended to be sufficient. What time was it? Had he escaped? Where were Lukas and Elias now?

And where was Jon? ]

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From:

kayakking

[Which means the next few minutes are Tim bustling back in, unpacking the styrofoam from the plastic bag - Kitchen counter is totally out, so, the arranging happens on the coffee table, pulled out to accommodate the wheelchair better.

It's a nice distraction at least, fragrant with masala and saffron. But it does destroy the pace of the conversation almost entirely.

Also plastic cutlery is a bitch to open one-handed.]

I swear the wrapping has gotten worse.

From:

eyediot

[He's about to make a comment about Tim not needing to move stuff around in his own home for Jon, but stops seeing the cutlery issue. And then has to stop himself again from offering to do it because really, self, look at yourself.

He'll just. Busy himself getting his own open, then sets it in front of Tim's and holds out a hand for the packaging Tim's trying to open.]

It always does get worse with time.

From:

kayakking

[There is a stubborn ass moment. Right there on Tim's face to see.

But in almost a mirroring of Jon's own, he looks at the other man's feet and back and just. Hands it over.]

I'll blame cost cutting and the Tories.

[When everything's set, he finally just.. rewinds a bit, picking back over words and tone and- crap.]

So, you were saying...

From:

eyediot

[With the cutlerly open for them both and everything set, he'll start going into his meal. He's at least glad Tim remembered his usual order.]

We were saying there's a lot that I haven't been told. ...I wonder what else there is?

From:

kayakking

[Jon's changed it ZERO times in how long?

Tim's eyes track back to the paper Jon has written out, chewing his curry thoughtfully.]

I'll send you what I know and remember tonight.

From:

eyediot

I-- oh. [Not what he meant but he'll take it.] Thank you.

[The hard part is remembering to not read it before he makes that statement. The less he knows before then the better, which is such a contradiction to what he wants.]

...I am glad you seem to be doing all right, though. I wasn't. Entirely... coherent at the time and didn't hear about you after.

From:

kayakking

[Tim has FAR less of an idea of how difficult it can be to work with ravenous hunger for knowledge versus Algric's generally evasive way of... not counting his own issues as Relevant.]

Iiii... God. Yeah, I'm sorry, I should have been out and to see you earlier. Or called.

From:

eyediot

No, it's all right.

[He... Does get it. It takes a second even after he gives the initial platitude, but. He remembers now. This whole thing started as a way to prove about Sasha. And now Tim knew for a fact that Sasha... really has been dead for a year. They had no idea, from what research he knows there's no body to find and bury, and they're a year late mourning her.

Of course Tim got wrapped up in his own head for a while.]

I... I get it.

From:

kayakking

[There's an edge here, seeing that simple, unjudging look. Suddenly it feels like everything that has been held tightly in place is kept there by nothing more than a soap bubble.

He takes a real deep, slow breath.]

Yeah...

It's mutual though. It's bloody good to see you up and around. God, did you even TELL either of them you were larking off across the city?

From:

eyediot

Algric knows. [He should know? Hard to miss not seeing this chair in the flat.

But at Martin... Jon looks positively guilt-ridden.]

I haven't, um. Martin... hasn't seen me since the hospital. I haven't been able to reach him.

From:

kayakking

Wait. He's not taking your call?

From:

eyediot

...He was pretty upset with me.

[Jon deserved it, but. Not at the expense of Martin throwing himself into the Lonely.]

He's... He just. Literally disappeared on the spot. [Yeah he's Big worry.]

From:

kayakking

What do you mean disappeared? He- He just had a spot like I did.

[And he sure as fuck can't rage himself invisible...]

What did you do?

From:

eyediot

...The Lonely.

[Hahahaha he hates himself for this, and he knew it'd get worse when he told Tim but it'd be twice as worse if he didn't tell Tim, so either way there's no good look for him here. As if there ever is.]

I... I talked to him. Ab-about us and...And Algric too. He. he said he hopes I'm happy and... just. Disappeared.

From:

kayakking

[Oh. Oh god. Somehow Tim expected Jon to work with a LITTLE eloquence.]

How did you tell him?

From:

eyediot

[It really always does come down to how he says something and not the ultimate idea of what's being said. It's frustrating for someone who's so unused to communicating like people.]

I-- Started to tell him I knew, he got frustrated and yelled at me for not really being able to communicate. I asked if I could start over, went through the whole thing. Carefully. [He took his time, Tim! He worded it as best he could and thought about what he was saying!]

And he, he seemed to be all right. Then asked about Algric, and I... I said I felt the same for him too - and... [He holds his hands up in a 'please god I did what I could what did I do'.] I screwed up. I know I did, so don't-- Don't bother. I just...

[Sigh.]

I'm worried.

From:

kayakking

Iiii am too.

[He's starting to pull out his phone and----

--- stops.]

'Felt the same?'

From:

eyediot

[Wait did he say that? Crap.]

Not the point here.

From:

kayakking

How is that not the point. That's a totally different conversation!

[JONATHAN SIMS DID YOU GO FROM I ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR FEELINGS TO BTW OPEN RELATIONSHIP WITH ANOTHER YOU]

From:

eyediot

[HE ALWAYS KNEW HIS FRIENDSHIP WITH TIM WOULD BE THE DEATH OF HIM, ALL THE WAY BACK IN RESEARCH, HE KNEW.]

The point here is that Martin disappeared and it's my fault because I'm apparently capable of caring about more than one person at a time and it hurt him!

From:

kayakking

[POSSIBLY LITERALLY. LETS SEE.]

...

You managed to get into a fight about open versus cheating before you even STARTED the relationship.

I don't know whether to be horrified or impressed.

From:

eyediot

[Jon just. Sits where he is in his chair, head in his hands and food forgotten on the coffee table. He's dying. He can feel it, he can feel his insides shriveling up and dying and this is literally the worst.]

Is this because of the Gundam joke.

From:

kayakking

[There's a blink and a sudden, surprised laugh cutting through the tension in the room.]

God. No. The retribution for that is going to be a million times worse.

From:

eyediot

[There's just a low, guttural groan of frustration coming from behind Jon's hands. Oooh he hates this. It'd be easier if he could just walk out himself, but noooo he had to come by when he's still like this. God.]

Look. I just. [Deep breath. Maybe. Maybe he can use words properly to explain this and not have Tim make it weird.] I care about them both equally. And I wanted to be up front with them both about it.

From:

kayakking

[It's nice Jon thinks that walking would save him from this.]

Okay, you're going to have to be a lot more specific. Because I care about you is USUALLY not enough to get someone to awaken their eldritch powers of loneliness here.