[PSL] time travel, time travel

[curriculum_fictae]

[ Martin had always known that Lukas would kill him in the end. If not along the way, then surely at the end, once he'd gotten what he wanted out of Martin, whatever that turned out to be. When the Lonely rose up to swallow him, he'd accepted his impending death with ... what?

What did he have left, really? Numbness, mostly. A hallucination of Jon in the Lonely, looking for him, but - but that was impossible, ridiculous. His mind playing cruel tricks. He settled himself down in the frigid surf, knees drawn up close to his chest, unshed tears frozen to his cheeks and lashes.

And then. A door. A door that shouldn't exist, that couldn't exist. That he shouldn't take at all. The Lonely was terrible, yes, but it was quiet, and it was peaceful. Martin was aligned enough with it by now to very nearly enjoy it, in a strange and terrible way. The Spiral would be infinitely worse than this quiet beach.

But ... it was hope, too. In a strange way. Hope enough that Martin found himself turning the door handle and stepping through, leaving the false comfort of the Lonely behind him.

The transition was unpleasant. Long. But Martin couldn't remember it after; he only remembered stumbling out through the door of a supply closet somewhere deep in the Archives, blinking up at the dim bulbs that pretended to be sufficient. What time was it? Had he escaped? Where were Lukas and Elias now?

And where was Jon? ]

Comments

[curriculum_fictae]

But a terrible person.

[ Algric just shakes his head a little. ]

Besides, it’s Jon. Sexual experience won’t be helpful. And I am not having sex with - with my younger self. I cannot believe I had to say that out loud.

[kayakking]

[There's a blink at that bit of information and- takes it in stride as he would any other preference.]

Ace, huh? Sure, not for putting to practice, but security sure does help. [With... any relationship, actually.]

Anyway. I'm still going to side on the "shame about that" side of things. But at least you absolutely know the answer to the oldest philosophical question of all time, "Yeah, but would you?" in a way no other person does.

[curriculum_fictae]

[ Algric just throws up his hands. ]

Fine! Fine, yes. I know precisely the kind of mess I am because I lived through it. That doesn’t mean I know how to - to unmess it. If I did, I’d be a much more well-adjusted person.

[curriculum_fictae]

[ Also. A belated blink. ]

— And. What. Shame about what?

[kayakking]

[He snorts at that statement and the second- OF COURSE he rounds in on that of all of it. Well he'll just answer the easier question-

...There was no other question.

Dammit.]

There's a whole lot of shame about that.

[Nailed it.]

[curriculum_fictae]

[ Tim please. This face says he sees through your horseshit. ]

About. What.

[kayakking]

All right. All right. Fine. Fine.

You want to know?

[It is, if nothing else, dead serious after that burst of exasperation.]

It's a shame you've only been treated like shit? [It's pitched as if he can't even believe why this needs to be said out loud.] It's a shame that's internalized so bad you just assume you'd be terrible in bed even with yourself.

[Except now, in the soft, cloudlike disconnect of the pain medications, he... well, he's going now.]

It's a shame you're neck deep in - [What did Jon call it? Teenage romance? Something like that. SURE CAN'T USE THAT HERE. The act of thinking about the wording completely derails him though. He ends up just leaving it off on a vague gesture.]

[curriculum_fictae]

[ Algric ... listens at least, and Tim’s seriousness saves Algric from immediately reacting with visceral anger at - well. This is pity, isn’t it? Well-meaning pity, which tempers it greatly, but it resonates down to his bones with a painful ache.

He has to gulp back the sharp words that Tim doesn’t deserve to have levied at him. But the conflict is clear enough on his face, as is the wound that Tim has accidentally come too close to reopening. Only the fact that they’ve already had an argument once today saves Algric from opening his mouth and saying something he will regret. ]

Or what? What’s the alternative? That - that someone else would actually do more than take pity on me?

[ Some acid leaks out anyway, but he at least deflects it from landing directly on Tim. ]

God. Sometimes I think - I think Jon is just safe. I mean, you’ve already asked the question multiple times. Why him. How could it possibly be him. Clearly, anyone with better options would choose differently.

[ Except Algric - and Martin - wouldn’t choose differently given “better” options, of course. And even saying that, his tone softens into fondness. God he loves Jon so much, flaws and all. ]

1/2

[kayakking]

[He almost goes for it. Even with that lash of heat and sizzle around him, there's enough to spark a rise.

But it's the honest warmth that comes up as the subject shifts to Jon that... Tim just swallows it down, steps what's... probably just his pride aside. For as many doubt as Algric has, it's hard not to see a man in love.]

Yeah, maybe. But, there he is, an absolute disaster of a man, who has finally noticed. Don't just... not take it up.

[kayakking]

[A beat.]

... Also set boundaries because he's an bleeding moron. As a friend, I'm just saying.

[curriculum_fictae]

[ Ah. That’s. Better. Algric deflates, slowly. ]

Between him, myself, and another me. If my younger self even wants me in the picture and - and honestly? I wouldn’t.

[ A deep breath. ]

But maybe. Maybe we’ll figure something out.

[kayakking]

Well, when you need to vent [And it IS a when.] I'll be around, yeah?

[curriculum_fictae]

[ Algric looks up at that, a little surprised. ]

Are you sure?

[kayakking]

Yeah. Like, you don't get to pick how many jokes I make, but all listening guaranteed.

[curriculum_fictae]

Well, no. You cracking jokes is part of the Tim experience, I suppose.

[kayakking]

It's a real low entry fee for the incredible package, if I do say so myself.

[curriculum_fictae]

[ EYE ROLL ]

I’ll vent if I need to, all right?

[kayakking]

Good.

[You know, he just. Leaves that there, letting himself relax on a long exhale. Enjoying the company. It. God he's starting to feel more human again instead of a- well, he's not thinking about that.]

[curriculum_fictae]

[ And Algric is good quiet company, at least. He’ll subside into helping Tim watch whatever he’s got on the Telly. ]