curriculum_fictae | [PSL] time travel, time travel

[ Martin had always known that Lukas would kill him in the end. If not along the way, then surely at the end, once he'd gotten what he wanted out of Martin, whatever that turned out to be. When the Lonely rose up to swallow him, he'd accepted his impending death with ... what?

What did he have left, really? Numbness, mostly. A hallucination of Jon in the Lonely, looking for him, but - but that was impossible, ridiculous. His mind playing cruel tricks. He settled himself down in the frigid surf, knees drawn up close to his chest, unshed tears frozen to his cheeks and lashes.

And then. A door. A door that shouldn't exist, that couldn't exist. That he shouldn't take at all. The Lonely was terrible, yes, but it was quiet, and it was peaceful. Martin was aligned enough with it by now to very nearly enjoy it, in a strange and terrible way. The Spiral would be infinitely worse than this quiet beach.

But ... it was hope, too. In a strange way. Hope enough that Martin found himself turning the door handle and stepping through, leaving the false comfort of the Lonely behind him.

The transition was unpleasant. Long. But Martin couldn't remember it after; he only remembered stumbling out through the door of a supply closet somewhere deep in the Archives, blinking up at the dim bulbs that pretended to be sufficient. What time was it? Had he escaped? Where were Lukas and Elias now?

And where was Jon? ]

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From:

eyediot

... You've been kind since even before that.

[But he'll dig in carefully. God, he even knew what his favorite dish would be... This is just. Unfair. He has nothing to give back to him except a roof over his head and a place to sleep.]

...Would you please do me one other favor?

From:

curriculum_fictae

[ Neither of which Jon is doing right now, huh? Martin's still dimly rumpled from the chair.

But he still brightens at the request for a favour, looking more as if Jon had offered to do the same for him. ]

I - of course. I'm going to be kind and. And anything you want, really.

From:

eyediot

[He hesitates, chewing this bite over first.]

...Please don't tell Martin you did this.

[Now that he's aware he's sure it'll cause some friction.]

From:

curriculum_fictae

[ That ... was not what he'd been expecting. He blinks, slowly, too baffled to connect any dots. Or even be upset just yet. ]

Wh-what? Why?

From:

eyediot

He's--

It's. Complicated.

[IT SHOULDN'T BE. God this is stupid. He'll just eat.]

From:

curriculum_fictae

[ Algric just goes rather still at that. Given a lack of information, he can only catastrophise.

His own portion freezes over, untouched. ]

Oh. I - I think I understand.

From:

eyediot

[He sees it, looks back up at Algric's face. Something just... softens around him before he reaches to ... do what? Take his hand? Take the bowl? He isn't sure. He doesn't know what he should do.]

I... It's not bad. Or anything.

From:

curriculum_fictae

[ Any of those things would surely help. As it is, though, Algric looks at the hand reaching out and shifts away instead. ]

No. N-no, it's - it's perfectly natural. He's your Martin. I'm just a ghost.

From:

eyediot

That... That's not it.

[Blast all this. He does take Algric's hand. His own are a little rough but. Whatever.]

I just don't want you both getting jealous over nothing.

From:

curriculum_fictae

[ Algric's hand is absolutely freezing in return, though at least he doesn't actively freeze Jon's. Instead, he just looks a little stricken. ]

I-I'm just visiting you. I'm barely doing anything.

From:

eyediot

[Yeah, the freezing isn't enough to make him let go. He'll be annoyed and keep his hand in the blanket later, but for now? Holding Algric's fingers.]

He doesn't know that. And... You know yourself.

From:

curriculum_fictae

[ He does know himself. He may not think of himself much, but ... he definitely knows that he'll be jealous.

It's kind, he thinks. For Jon to preserve the real Martin's feelings. Doesn't do much for his own, of course, but. ]

R-right. Right. He would ... be upset.

From:

eyediot

And I don't want to deal with the two of you fighting each other.

[Yeah less about that and more... He really doesn't want to see Martin fighting another version of himself. Not over him, he's not worth that.]

From:

curriculum_fictae

R-right. That's. Of course. I don't particularly want to fight me either.

From:

eyediot

[He can't... Exactly get a read on Algric with that response. Partly because of the drugs and exhaustion, partly because he's just not good at it. But ultimately it ends up with Jon staring at Martin with an inscrutable look in his eyes.]

...I. I know I'm not. Particularly skilled at...Personal feelings. [That definitely didn't play a part in what happened with Georgie, oh no.] ..But you do know I care about you?

From:

curriculum_fictae

[ Well. Algric is being deliberately vague and obtuse to begin with. Some of that's the Lonely muting him; some of it's his own sheer exhaustion. And his certainty that he has no place in this timeline he's already shoved off the rails.

Like this. He ought to smile or brighten, but he really just looks ... even more tired. ]

Of course, Jon. You're doing what you think is best.

From:

eyediot

[God. Archivist and an overinflated articulate vocabulary and he still can't... fucking get this right. He rests his head back, staring at the ceiling and his voice is so... so quiet.]

That isn't what I meant.

From:

curriculum_fictae

[ Sorry, Jon. Just because Algric loves you doesn't make him any less difficult in his own right.

But ... he relents a little, expression softening. ]

I'm just - I'm just skipping to the end. It'll be easier that way. And I don't blame you, all right? If you've figured out that you care about Martin Blackwood, then ... then I'm glad.

And I won't take that away from myself.

From:

eyediot

[He's quiet. Jon doesn't say anything for what's probably an uncomfortably long few minutes. It figures, doesn't it? Of course.

He takes a breath and carefully lets go of Algric's hand. Moves to take his glasses back off, folds them neatly and places them, and the book, on his side table.

Where normally he's stubborn and pushes even when every sign is telling him to stop, Jon is trying to be... considerate.]

I understand.

From:

curriculum_fictae

[ What - what?

That wasn't the reaction Algric was expecting? Oh sure, it was the reaction he'd asked for. For Jon to detach, to care only for Martin, to leave ... Algric alone. Because that was the inevitable end, wasn't it? Jon might think he cares about Algric specifically, but he can't, right? If he likes either of them, he has to like Martin.

And yet - his heart hurts worse than it has in a long time. ]

What - what do you understand?

From:

eyediot

I, um. I'm not really sure.

[Lie.]

The- the medications and all. I've... already sort of lost track of the conversation, I'm sorry.

[Just stuff that down, ignore it, jsut let it die with him.]

Probably just. Talking nonsense.

From:

curriculum_fictae

[ Algric could buy that. It would be an easy out - it would be what they both want, right? Algric has no right making his alternate self unhappy, which Jon had made clear just now.

Yes, that was the cause of his confusion, or so he thought. He'd made it easier for Jon to prioritise Martin - and had expected relief, if not actual gratitude. This is something else. He doesn't know what it is, but he can tell that it's not good. ]

No. No, I've - I've hurt you. I've done something. I - I don't know what but --

From:

eyediot

[He takes a sharp inhale. He... really hoped given what Algric had just said and done that they'd just... move on. He's trying to hide the shakiness in his voice; the medications really are getting to him a bit, the ever-present neverending soreness in his back and feet. IT's overwhelming, really.]

I'm not. Good at this.

From:

curriculum_fictae

[ Sorry, Jon. He can't let this go this time. ]

W-well - well neither am I.

From:

eyediot

[Jon really. Really tries to think. Focus through the haze of everything.]

Is it so hard to believe I'm capable of caring for more than one person at a time?

[He isn't looking at Algric. Hell, he's almost half-rolled onto his side so Algric can't see his face. He feels miserable in a way he hasn't in a long, long time and he isn't really in the mood to go pouring his heart out.

Right. Focus on the work. On finding proof to get Elias out of the Institute. Stop the Unknowing. Save Tim.

Focus.]

...I have to. Prepare to make a statement. When I go back. I'll figure things out from where.