[PSL] time travel, time travel

[curriculum_fictae]

[ Martin had always known that Lukas would kill him in the end. If not along the way, then surely at the end, once he'd gotten what he wanted out of Martin, whatever that turned out to be. When the Lonely rose up to swallow him, he'd accepted his impending death with ... what?

What did he have left, really? Numbness, mostly. A hallucination of Jon in the Lonely, looking for him, but - but that was impossible, ridiculous. His mind playing cruel tricks. He settled himself down in the frigid surf, knees drawn up close to his chest, unshed tears frozen to his cheeks and lashes.

And then. A door. A door that shouldn't exist, that couldn't exist. That he shouldn't take at all. The Lonely was terrible, yes, but it was quiet, and it was peaceful. Martin was aligned enough with it by now to very nearly enjoy it, in a strange and terrible way. The Spiral would be infinitely worse than this quiet beach.

But ... it was hope, too. In a strange way. Hope enough that Martin found himself turning the door handle and stepping through, leaving the false comfort of the Lonely behind him.

The transition was unpleasant. Long. But Martin couldn't remember it after; he only remembered stumbling out through the door of a supply closet somewhere deep in the Archives, blinking up at the dim bulbs that pretended to be sufficient. What time was it? Had he escaped? Where were Lukas and Elias now?

And where was Jon? ]

Comments

[curriculum_fictae]

[ Algric shakes his head. ]

It was - it was more important than ever. Before I was just trying to find a useful way to die. With Jon alive, I ... I at least had a purpose. I had to keep Lukas’s attention on me until I could figure out what he was planning.

And - and if it meant staying away from Jon and not letting him help me, then ... that was fine.

[kayakking]

[Tim's eyes slip down and to the side. And then snap back to his, narrowed.]

.. So I get- I get the reasons.

But you know it's not on here? You're not expendable.

[curriculum_fictae]

...

[ Algric remains relatively sharp and focused, not disappearing. But he doesn’t say anything either, and he can’t meet Tim’s eyes. ]

[kayakking]

[The knee against Algric's pushes, as Tim's expression furrows.]

No, come on. Look at me. At least one of your friends is telling you this. I'm holding you to it. If I make it out, so do you. You, specifically, the Martin Blackwood in front of me, no substitutions.

[curriculum_fictae]

[ Algric turns at that, slowly tilting his head to look at Tim, his expression just ... quiet. And resigned. ]

Tim, I - I’d like to, and I’m not gong to throw myself away, I just -

[ Deep breath. ]

I’m a ghost. From - from a life that’s already over. What would I even do here? Get a job? Settle down with - with Jon? God, I already know Martin’s going to hate me for it.

[kayakking]

I don't know? We're in a world utterly full of people way weirder than you and they make it work?

[The rest though-]

... ... I mean if it's an either/or situation with you and Martin, yeah.

[Because fuck knows Jon probably didn't feel carefully as to Algric's feelings on ... he'd think an open relationship, but some part of his mind cuts in with "anything. Nothing was careful."]

[curriculum_fictae]

[ It ... is true. Could Algric just be a friendly avatar of the Lonely? That seems ... paradoxical. And given how all the other avatars have turned out, he’s not sure that’s a happy ending either.

But the second point is easier to address anyway. ]

Jon - Jon wants both of us. I’m ... I’m okay with that, truly. Having Jon back in any context is -

[ He’ll take it. And count himself lucky for any scrap of affection he gets. ]

But Martin deserves the relationship he wants with Jon, whatever that is. I can’t - I can’t steal it from him

[kayakking]

Noble. But if both of you approach this with the same mindset...

Really, you three should actually talk, negotiate and if Martin's really in the no, only hard monogamy for me. Thennnnn that's a different conversation.

[curriculum_fictae]

I - I guess so.

[ He shivers a little. ]

I ... I guess I should get those sunglasses, then.

[kayakking]

Yeah.

Break down this... whatever it is. [AND BOY IT IS SOMETHING.]

I mean, when else are you ever going to meet someone who absolutely understands without explanation like that?

[curriculum_fictae]

W-well - okay, yes, never, but. Haven’t you ever looked back on something you did two years ago and just aggressively cringed at yourself?

[kayakking]

Ab-so-lutely.



But counterpoint. Apply same statement I just made to in bed.

1/2

[curriculum_fictae]

.......................

[curriculum_fictae]

How many relationships d’you think I’ve had, Tim.

[kayakking]

Hard to shoot high with that kind of a lead in.

... It's not none.

[There were times when Fisher's self absorbed melodrama WAS the only thing going on in Research.

But by god the man was probably as useless in the sack as he was at work.]

[curriculum_fictae]

[ The flattest expression. Not a conversation he wants to have ... ever, but here they are. ]

Three, Tim. All of them ended miserably. I - I have no idea what I want, and he has even less of one.

[kayakking]

[He just... sort of ... considers.

Yeah. Yeah he would. Without a question, actually.

Shame the man's in a mess so hot it would ignite a dead star. THAT doesn't need complication.

He just sighs.]

Okay, if you try to tell me you don't even have porn preferences, I'm going to call fucking bullshit.

[One of the two people here has a WAY higher comfort level for these conversations.]

[curriculum_fictae]

[ No. No it really doesn’t need complication. Shame, though; Algric looks like he would be very cute and blushy and cuddly and maybe aggressively affectionate.

He lets out a distressed noise and puts his head in his hands. ]

Why are we talking about this.

[kayakking]

[And man, who doesn't need that in their lives right now? Honestly.

Tim, however, shows mercy, giving a companionable out.]

Because I am an excellent friend.

[curriculum_fictae]

But a terrible person.

[ Algric just shakes his head a little. ]

Besides, it’s Jon. Sexual experience won’t be helpful. And I am not having sex with - with my younger self. I cannot believe I had to say that out loud.

[kayakking]

[There's a blink at that bit of information and- takes it in stride as he would any other preference.]

Ace, huh? Sure, not for putting to practice, but security sure does help. [With... any relationship, actually.]

Anyway. I'm still going to side on the "shame about that" side of things. But at least you absolutely know the answer to the oldest philosophical question of all time, "Yeah, but would you?" in a way no other person does.

[curriculum_fictae]

[ Algric just throws up his hands. ]

Fine! Fine, yes. I know precisely the kind of mess I am because I lived through it. That doesn’t mean I know how to - to unmess it. If I did, I’d be a much more well-adjusted person.

[curriculum_fictae]

[ Also. A belated blink. ]

— And. What. Shame about what?

[kayakking]

[He snorts at that statement and the second- OF COURSE he rounds in on that of all of it. Well he'll just answer the easier question-

...There was no other question.

Dammit.]

There's a whole lot of shame about that.

[Nailed it.]

[curriculum_fictae]

[ Tim please. This face says he sees through your horseshit. ]

About. What.