curriculum_fictae | [PSL] time travel, time travel

[ Martin had always known that Lukas would kill him in the end. If not along the way, then surely at the end, once he'd gotten what he wanted out of Martin, whatever that turned out to be. When the Lonely rose up to swallow him, he'd accepted his impending death with ... what?

What did he have left, really? Numbness, mostly. A hallucination of Jon in the Lonely, looking for him, but - but that was impossible, ridiculous. His mind playing cruel tricks. He settled himself down in the frigid surf, knees drawn up close to his chest, unshed tears frozen to his cheeks and lashes.

And then. A door. A door that shouldn't exist, that couldn't exist. That he shouldn't take at all. The Lonely was terrible, yes, but it was quiet, and it was peaceful. Martin was aligned enough with it by now to very nearly enjoy it, in a strange and terrible way. The Spiral would be infinitely worse than this quiet beach.

But ... it was hope, too. In a strange way. Hope enough that Martin found himself turning the door handle and stepping through, leaving the false comfort of the Lonely behind him.

The transition was unpleasant. Long. But Martin couldn't remember it after; he only remembered stumbling out through the door of a supply closet somewhere deep in the Archives, blinking up at the dim bulbs that pretended to be sufficient. What time was it? Had he escaped? Where were Lukas and Elias now?

And where was Jon? ]

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From:

eyediot

But it is a rare situation that happened.

[LET HIM HAVE THIS, he's had so few wins lately.]

Did he tell you what all happened?

From:

curriculum_fictae

Okay, fine. I'm glad you had a landline to contact the future ghost version of your coworker because - because otherwise he'd probably have sat up all night worrying.

[ Which he's still doing, just. Less, maybe. He might even sleep. ]

Not much. He, ah. I think it took all his concentration that he was talking to someone.

From:

eyediot

[Okay with that, now he's worried about Tim. No one's really told him anything about Tim's condition or how he's doing or if he's even been discharged or anything.]

I can... I can try to fill in any blanks, if you want.

From:

curriculum_fictae

Right. Right.

[ His gaze drifts down to Jon again. God, there's so many bandages... ]

Something about Sasha?

From:

eyediot

[It takes a few seconds for something to catch up to him but-] You're not a ghost.

[He scrunches his eyes trying to remember clearly. The whole thing was just... A blur of fear and panic and pain...]

I was... Sasha, er. The... The Not Sasha. Came in to bring me some follow up reports. I asked her... again to tell me what happened. Because her tapes were missing, from the attack. She told me and. Turned to leave.

[Here, his brows knot up, like there is a pain to picture it clearly. His memories of Sasha, the monster, and the reality that he doesn't remember what the real Sasha looked like...]

She stopped at the door. Asked if I could see her. Then... when she turned to look at me, she was... Different. I can't. [Breathe.] I can't explain it because my memory is. I don't know what that thing does, but. When I think back to her during the attack, in the breakroom with us, any other time, she... Looked like she did at that moment. Monstrous.

And then all hell broke loose. I found Tim, we tried to get out.

From:

curriculum_fictae

[ Ah. He's glad Jon can remind himself, but ... that hurts a little. Algric is pretty sure that if he wandered out into the world, no one would ever see him again. Or remember that he'd been there.

Breathe, Martin. Not important right now. There's certainly far worse things to think about - like that horrific description from Jon. ]

She - she attacked you because you knew. Didn't she. You asked her and she knew and -

[ INTERNAL SCREAMING. ]

How badly did she hurt you?

From:

eyediot

I-i suppose. Could she even sense that I knew? I didn't... say or do anything...

[Slow breath. It's fine! He's fine.]

Some kind of chemical burns and slashes to my back, but. Feet split wide open.

[Those big gauze muppet nubbies at the end of the bed attached to his legs.]

From:

curriculum_fictae

[ Algric force his gaze down to Jon's feet and ... oh god. He sucks in a terrible, miserable breath. Has Jon ever been hurt that badly outside of the Unknowing? Jude's burn was bad, sure, but this ... this is something else, isn't it?

He puts his hands over his mouth to stifle a horrified noise. ]

Split open? Are they - did they amputate--?

From:

eyediot

Oh-- No, it's- As far as I know they'll heal.

Massive stitches. There were... gashes. Heel across the bottoms, she... [He sits his head back heavily into the pillow.] She slashed at us, and I shoved Tim out of the way. She caught the bottoms of my feet, is all.

From:

curriculum_fictae

[ God. God. It's even more awful than he'd assumed from the conversation with Tim. Maybe not amputation level horrible, but still--

Algric lowers himself into the uncomfortable chair next to the bed, tears already wobbling in his voice. ]

This - this is all my fault.

From:

eyediot

What?

[He can't ignore how Algric's voice sounds like it's on the verge of breaking. He watches him, eyes following as he sits.]

No, it's not. We wouldn't have made it out alive if you hadn't warned us. And don't say if you hadn't warned us, it wouldn't have happened. It would have, eventually. Just we were prepared for it, thanks to you.

So. Thank you.

From:

curriculum_fictae

But it didn't happen eventually!

[ Algric's voice pitches up in misery. ]

Not-Sasha never attacked you like - like this. I'm the difference! A-and if it's this bad with Not-Sasha, then the Unknowing will be --

[ Even worse. Maybe the world actually ends? Or at least everyone in the Institute dies. ]

From:

eyediot

We don't know that!

[Yeah any nurse walking by probably thinks something at him raising his voice to an empty chair.]

It's just-- If you're the difference, then I'm glad!

From:

curriculum_fictae

[ Eh. Morphine is a hell of a drug. They'll just move on. ]

Why? You're hurt worse already! I've caused nothing but stress, and - and you already have a Martin, so I'm just -

[ He sucks in a miserable breath. ]

I shouldn't. I shouldn't be here.

From:

eyediot

You both exist. Just because one is here doesn't mean the other of you can't.

...Besides that, I want you here.

[His head is moving a little faster than his mouth, thanks morphine.]

Not because you have information, or answer questions, or anything like that. I just... Like you. Being here. Both of you.

From:

curriculum_fictae

He exists. I - I shouldn't.

[ But it's a weaker argument this time as that second part sinks in. The affection is ... bracing, even if he knows Jon can't possibly mean it. Not really.

It's enough to make his shoulders slump, anyway, rather than keep yelling. ]

But I ... I like being here with you too, Jon.

From:

eyediot

I'm... glad.

[He relaxes at that. His head is just slumped into the pillow watching him sideways.]

Before all this happened, I... was really. Having trouble, you know? Trusting anyone and. Ready to ...Be hated. So...Thank you.

From:

curriculum_fictae

[ He does know that. He's seen the end result of that - the paranoia, the team only half getting back together before the Unknowing blew it all up again. Hell, if he looks at Tim ...

He's just not sure if it makes up for the awful gashes in Jon's feet. ]

I'm glad I managed to do one thing right, then.

From:

eyediot

...You did a lot right, Algric.

[He watches Algric for a few minutes. Enjoying that companionable silence for a bit.

But when he speaks again, his voice is a whisper. A quiet, broken hush.] It keeps happening. The... The knowing things. Just little things, but...

From:

curriculum_fictae

[ Oh. Oh Jon. Whatever relief Algric was feeling, it evaporates again. But ... at least this way he can focus on Jon instead. That mostly helps. ]

Yes. Yes, I - I think it will probably keep happening. More and more. And eventually, you'll find that you don't really ... get nourishment out of real food any more. You need statements instead.

From:

eyediot

[HEY HE DOESN'T LIKE THAT??? He'll think this is a weird fever dream in a day or two, but he hates that idea. It's clear on his face he doesn't like that. It's clear on his face how he feels about it.]

Is there any way to stop it?

From:

curriculum_fictae

Just - just the way I talked about before. With, you know.

[ He gestures to his eyes. ]

From:

eyediot

... Right.

[Not his favorite line of thought, but. There may be some merit. He wants to find out some other things first, though, and there may be some answers in Gertrude's tapes.

If the others don't have to go that far, then he doesn't want them.]

I'd rather it not come to that for all of you.

From:

curriculum_fictae

I'd. I'd rather it not either.

... But if you're going to do it, you should consider doing it soon.

From:

eyediot

...I'll keep it in mind.

[He sighs. Stares up at the ceiling. Tries to to imagine his life without being able to see. He doesn't like it.

He'd have to resort to audiobooks. Ugh.

Not being able to see either yada yada but god. The concessions he'd have to make.]

What happens if I'm the only one who does it?